Fun Stuff

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

When Helen was 2 and we were potty training her, she came into the bathroom with me and ask if I was "done"and said "stand up mamma' I wipe you.

A little boy was in a relative's wedding.
As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).
While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
"Don't be angry," the Mother says,
"Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling.
Her brother says... "Now she knows.

Just Like Mommy

A friend of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four year old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.

"Oh, be still, my heart," thought my friend, "My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!"

Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. Would you like fries with that?"

What's In A Name

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt."

The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out." So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?" And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."

The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt."

The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt" what's the difference?

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and asked, Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first- grade class. The teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and asked, 'Pardon me, sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"
Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know!
He said, 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next ten minutes.

Frog
One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he had found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead and the student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew.

The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."

The teacher asked, "You did what?"

He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."